It happens when you least expect it. It's like when you look in the mirror to see if you have any pieces of black beans stuck in your teeth and instead find a gray nose hair sticking an inch and a half out of your left nostril.
Where the EFF is a referee when you need one?!?
When did this happen? Why didn't I catch this at a third or even three quarters of an inch? Am I so blind to my aging process that I somehow missed an inch and a half? Where are my priorities in life?
Fortunately this happened to me two some odd years ago and I had completely recovered from this traumatic event until tonight.
Tonight I felt myself aging again. So a big 'Thank You!' to kickball for snapping me out my youthful reverie (read: denial... Duh!) long enough to realize that I am not as young as I think I am. Now, don't get me wrong, denial can be an incredible ally in life and in some instances an absolute necessity tantamount to water but not when it comes to your knees.
Not when it comes to your knees.
I felt young on the ground, young in the air, not quite as young mid air as the bright red kickball sailed well over my outstretched fingers, and really really effing old as I landed back to earth. My last tour jeté was eighteen thousand times more graceful than the way in which my knees ceased to function and my feet begrudgingly accepted the gift of gravity.
The first step is admitting you have a problem.
True, but I gotta tell you, there is a gift in looking into an empty refrigerator and seeing possibility instead of seeing abso-effing-lutely NOTHING to feed your boys for breakfast. I had a bottle of TJ's Midnight Moo, some chocolate chunks, one egg, and a small amount of whipping cream that didn't smell as bad as it should have.
Always stop to smell the cream.
But if it stinks, you should open up the other end and smell it again (it might just be the spout that's bad).
Then again, when it doubt, throw it out. Words to stitch on a taupe colored throw pillow and live by. This only applies to food, and not family members. Or future family members (unless you want them to elope just so they can 'stick it to you').
Are you even allowed to have that kind of punctuation all lumped together? Unless it's part of your Facebook password, but of course!
My powers of denial enabled me to see those three ingredients for what they could be--a sugar high filled better do it while your mom is away chocolate chocolate chip monster pancake with whipped cream binge!!!
You don't need my super power of denial to make these at home, just make sure you have plausible deniability when the kiddos ask for this again! I add 1/4 cup of frozen semi-sweet chocolate chunks (frozen) to the finished batter for every cup of flour used. You then can set about the task of making the face--start with the eyes and nose,
or throwing in a fanged mouth in lieu of a nose. Wait until the air bubbles remain open and then ladle in some more batter all around it.
You can throw in some horns up top too if you'd like. Wait for the bubbles to pop and remain open before you flip it. Unfortunately I forgot to take the next picture, the boys had discovered the whisk with whipped cream, and they helped remind me that you're only as old as the amount of ice cubes and minutes it takes to ice down your knee/shoulder/all over after playing kickball...
Sharing some whipped cream helps too.